Ask an Expert: Why do young women like older men?


Last Updated: February 1, 2024

Sugar Dating 101

Why do women like older men? You’ve heard of young women pursuing relationships with older men. But is this a real thing? And why would young women be interested in an age-gap relationship? As it turns out, this is a very real phenomenon, observed in a variety of scientific studies! And the reasons for it make a whole lot of sense.

In this article, we’re going to talk about some of the possible explanations for why younger women are attracted to older men. And, if you’re interested in having an age-gap relationship yourself, we’ll offer some expert advice on how to make it more successful.

Why do women like older men?


One of the most common theories as to why women like older men has to do with evolution. Scientists think that, just like males are attracted to females at the ideal reproductive age, females are also driven by their biology. They may be hard-wired to seek out mates who have proven their survival skills and have better access to resources and territory…at least, that’s what one study into the behaviors of birds has shown. We, of course, are not birds, but we may still make decisions on mate preferences based on natural selection.

Similar studies on humans have found that young women are indeed attracted to older mates. In fact, a study looking at a German dating site found that women between the ages of 20 and 30 were most likely to be attracted to men older than themselves. Across the lifespan, women were equally likely to be interested in men their same age or slightly older. It wasn’t until they reached their 40s or 50s that they became likely to set their sights on younger men.

Why else besides biology do women like older men?

One thing that these studies were lacking was the why behind the women’s preferences. Biology certainly seems to be a part of it, with women no longer showing a preference for older men once they are well past the age of starting a family. But, that’s not the whole picture.

Actually, there seem to be many characteristics of older men that make them attractive to younger women. To be sure, not all older men share the same personality traits. But age does tend to accentuate certain characteristics in many men, such as:

Life Experience

There is something very appealing about being with a partner with a lot of life experience. A younger woman will definitely enjoy going out to dinner with someone who knows how to take care of her, whether that means confidently ordering the best wine or being thoughtful enough to pay for her cab at the end of the night.

Life experience is valuable long after the first date, as well. An older man who has learned from past relationships, mistakes, and successes in his life will be better suited to care for a current partner.


The same study that found that women are attracted to older men also found that women are attracted to education. Older men tend to have higher levels of education, sure, but they’ve also had more time to take in the lessons of life. They have experienced enough of the world to know that they’re a small part in the larger scheme of things. That kind of humility keeps them from being arrogant or closed-minded.


There are a few different ways to think about stability. On the one hand, there’s financial stability, which tends to be more common with older men than up-and-coming younger ones.

That being said, young men can certainly be wealthy! But they may be lacking in the other kind of stability. As young career-builders and world-travelers, they tend to be more erratic and unpredictable than older men. That doesn’t mean, of course, that older men can’t be spontaneous and fun. But rather, that they know the value of consistency. Their partners can rely on them to maintain good communication and follow through on their plans.


Many younger women are looking for a man who can take care of himself. They want someone who knows how to manage their own finances, household chores, and other adult responsibilities. And, while some older men excel at this more than others, there’s a better chance that this age group will know how to live independently than someone in their 20s.

It’s not only self-sufficiency that’s attractive, but also personal independence as well. Women in younger generations are focusing more on their careers and self-growth than traditional goals like getting married. So, they gravitate towards partners who are likewise interested in maintaining some healthy space in the relationship.


Young women these days are bombarded by fake men (not to mention fake profiles) on dating apps. They’re hungry for someone who is genuine. Older men typically have moved beyond the dating game phase and are comfortable showing up authentically in their relationships. They don’t feel the need to make themselves appear any different than they are. And, they don’t need to rely on cheap tricks, like negging, to convince a woman to be interested in them.

Emotional Maturity

To be sure, there are a lot of older men that haven’t reached full emotional maturity yet. But, when a younger woman finds a man who has, she won’t let him pass her by.

Older men are more likely to have gone through life experiences that taught them emotional maturity, such as a previous marriage, fatherhood, or possibly even therapy.

An emotionally mature older man isn’t quick to anger, isn’t afraid of talking things through, and is comfortable sharing what he’s feeling. That’s not to say that he’s not passionate and bold when the situation calls for it. But, a younger woman will feel much more comfortable with a man who is in control of his feelings and doesn’t rely on emotionally immature manipulation tactics.


It’s safe to say that most of us are pretty selfish when we’re young. Oftentimes, it’s because we don’t have the resources to share easily.

Older men, though, know the value of generosity. They have worked hard for what they’ve got, and they know it’s not very fun to enjoy the payoff alone. Instead, they would rather treat a special someone to a lovely evening out or a romantic getaway to someplace new. And, they genuinely love the feeling of making their partner feel cared for.


Confidence is one of the most attractive traits that a man can have. It shows that they can weather any storm, stand up for what’s right, and take care of those they care about. And older men, especially those who have enjoyed a degree of success in their careers or relationships, tend to have a higher level of confidence than their younger peers.

How can you land the older man of your dreams?


Now that we’ve found some of the answers to the question, “Why do women like older men,” you might have realized that you want to date one yourself!

If you’re a younger woman looking to have an age-gap relationship, you might wonder how to make it work. Here’s what the experts have to say about keeping an older man interested:

Ask yourself why you’re interested in an older man

Getting to the core of why you want to date an older man will help you build the perfect long-term relationship for yourself. That’s because it will help you narrow your search and weed out partners who aren’t good for you. For instance, are you most attracted to confidence? Consider dating older men in a field that demands it, such as medicine or law. Or, is emotional availability and reliability at the top of your list of priorities? In that case, you’ll want to keep your eye out for older men who give you a sense of openness and sensitivity right from the start. Maybe they volunteer in their free time or are involved in a charity that’s important to them.

Don’t wait for him to find you

You’re not going to get your perfect older man by waiting around for him to find you. Be proactive by adjusting your age range on dating apps or, better yet, signing up for a sugar daddy website. This will allow you to chat with men who you know are interested in dating a younger woman.

Look beyond his age

One of the traps that many young women fall into is believing too much in the so-called “older man factor.” In other words, they get caught up in the stereotypes of older men as worldly, generous, and confident instead of paying close attention to their true personalities. As we mentioned, age doesn’t immediately lead to a man developing these attractive qualities. So, don’t let yourself get swept away in the fantasy of dating an older man. Getting to know him for him will keep you safe and also lead to a deeper level of intimacy.

Manage your insecurities

Something that surprises many young women as they start dating older men is that they can feel intimidated in the presence of someone wealthier and more experienced than them. That’s perfectly normal, but don’t let it get in the way of you enjoying yourself! Your older partner has chosen you for a reason, so don’t question whether you’re good enough to be there. Remember that just as confidence is attractive in a man, your partner will also be drawn to your self-assurance.

Still not convinced? Take a look at our recent article on Why Do Men Like Younger Women to see all that you bring to the table!

Maintain your independence

A self-sufficient lifestyle goes hand-in-hand with confidence, so commit to taking care of yourself first. To be sure, an older man will want to help you and pamper you in the way that you deserve. But, it’s important to build a strong sense of self outside of the age gap relationship. This will make you more appealing and generally more satisfied with the relationship.

Pay attention to him

A recent study found that people are more generous to partners who pay attention to them. It seems too obvious to be true, but hey, sometimes science really is simple.

Here are a few ways that you can show you care about him:

  • Listen to him, even when there are distractions. One of the ways that the study challenged participants’ focus was to include distractions. Instead of letting distractions interfere with their focus, the most successful participants continued to pay attention to their partners. And, it paid off with rewards later on.
  • Practice active listening. No matter if you consider yourself a good listener or not, everyone can learn the skill of active listening. All you have to do is rely on body language—facing your partner, nodding, and making eye contact—and the use of open-ended questions to be a better listener. Instead of chasing all of his anecdotes with stories of your own, summarize what he’s said and stay curious.

Age gap relationships are more popular than ever, and you can enjoy one, too!

If you’re looking up information about “why do women like older men,” we can guess that it’s because you’re curious! Maybe you’re wondering whether dating an older man is right for you. And in this article, we set out to help you answer that question for yourself.

Now that you know why so many women are dating older partners and how you can have a successful age-gap relationship, all that’s left is to get started!

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