Flirting Tips: How to Become an Expert at Flirting


Last Updated: April 30, 2024

Dating Tips

Looking for flirty tips that will elevate your pick-up game and keep the spark alive in your existing relationships? You’ve come to the right place! With these simple tricks, you can build your flirting confidence and make a lasting impression on everyone lucky enough to enjoy your charm!

Loosen Up

One of the biggest barriers to flirting well is being afraid to do it wrong. This mental block will make your flirting feel forced and awkward, when flirting should really be loose and fluid!

If you’re struggling to get up the courage to flirt, the best thing you can do is simply introduce more low-pressure chit-chat in your everyday life. Chat with the checker at the supermarket, offer a chipper hello to your neighbors as you pass them on the stairs, strike up a conversation with your taxi driver. All of these small interactions will build your confidence and get you comfortable talking to strangers.

And if you’re still feeling nervous about flirting, remind yourself that doing something imperfectly so that you can get better is a more effective strategy than not doing something because you’re worried about doing it wrong.

Choose your moment

You might have had negative flirting experiences in the past not because you’re not good at it but because you were trying to flirt in the wrong context. Trying to strike up a flirty conversation with someone who has their mind on other things, for example, is not going to give you great results. Here are a few additional circumstances in which you should avoid flirting:

  • At work
  • In a small, crowded space
  • When someone is in a hurry
  • In a place that has too much background noise
  • With someone who is taken
  • With someone who has headphones on
  • With someone is reading

Instead, look for the following green flags to know when it’s a good time to try flirting:

  • When the person looks open and relaxed
  • When you’re both waiting for something, such as in an airport terminal or in line at the grocery store
  • At a party or bar
  • On a first date
  • When you’re texting or messaging through a dating app

As you can see, the best time to flirt is when the recipient is not otherwise busy and, even better, already in the mood to be flirty.

Make the first move

If you’re waiting around for people to flirt with you, you could be missing out on genuine connections! Plus, when you make the first move, it can show a potential partner your level of confidence and ease, two essential components of a successful flirt!

Being the first one to make contact is definitely nerve-wracking, but the potential payoff is worth a few moments of nervousness!

Make eye contact


Don’t underestimate the power of eye contact! When you’re able to hold someone’s gaze while you flirt, you’ll build excitement and intrigue.

Of course, make sure that your eye contact is friendly and inviting! Otherwise, it will be taken as aggressive. So, seek out your flirting partner’s gaze, but don’t feel that you need to lock eyes during the entire exchange.


Smiling is another important element for flirting that allows the other person to relax and feel comfortable with you. You can also use smiling as a way to gauge someone’s openness towards flirting with you. If, for example, they return your smile when you start talking to them, it’s a good sign that they want to engage. If, on the other hand, they meet your smile and flirting attempts with coldness, well, it’s not a good idea to proceed.

Offer compliments

Even though we mentioned that it would be beneficial to improve your overall chit-chat game, it’s important to remember that small talk and flirting are two different things. And when you’re ready to move from friendly chatting to flirting, offering compliments can be the stepping stone to let the person know you’re romantically interested.

To be sure, you’ll want to choose your compliments wisely! The wrong compliments can make you strike out. And the right ones are sure to end in a date. Here are a few do’s and don’ts to flirty compliments:

  • Do be genuine. Cookie-cutter compliments tend to fall flat, so choose something about this person that you genuinely like.
  • Don’t objectify. Compliments that focus primarily on sex appeal can make someone feel uncomfortable and objectified.
  • Do keep it short. Compliments should be one-liners, so keep it short and sweet.
  • Don’t engage in negging. Negging is a practice in which your compliments are partnered with a negative statement. Always keep your compliments positive!

Make your feelings known

You never want the recipient of your flirty banter to wonder what your feelings for them are. But, you also don’t want to scare a potential partner away by releasing the floodgates of your emotions before you’ve built a real connection! So, when flirting, try dropping a few hints about the fact that you’re interested in them. Here are a few ideas:

  • I feel like time flies when I’m talking to you.
  • Seeing/talking to you always makes my day.
  • I thought of you when I saw this meme/reel/movie/etc the other day.

Don’t be afraid of humor


While it’s a good idea to drop hints about your romantic feelings for someone in your flirting, some levity can keep things light and fun. So, try cracking jokes every once in a while! Tease them gently about one of their quirky habits and make sure you’re a good sport when they tease you back.

Of course, this is one of the flirting tips on our list that is most intimidating for someone who doesn’t consider themself a funny person. And there will certainly be times when some of your jokes won’t land. That’s okay! Just shake it off and keep the conversation moving. It’s better to try incorporating humor into your flirting and having a few blunders than to appear cold and serious.

Stick with it

Flirting is not a one-off conversation. Instead, it can be an ongoing part of building a connection with someone. So, make sure to keep flirting as long as you’re interested!

Not only can flirting keep the spark alive during the courting phase, but it can even be beneficial for ongoing couples. That’s why you should try not to forget these flirting tips even after you’ve started dating someone more seriously.

You’re going to be a flirting pro before you know it!

Although it’s a great idea to look into effective flirting tips to elevate your conversation skills, at the end of the day, it’s all about practice! The flirtier you can be, the more comfortable you’ll feel, and the more confidence that will come across in your interactions. So, get out there and start putting these flirting tips to good use!

Related Posts